Why to avoid New Year’s Resolutions and, instead, practice Horse Irresolution.
Here’s the plain and simple truth: New Year’s Resolutions don’t work.
They don’t work, and yet it’s easy to make them and then think less of ourselves because we may not have known that they don’t work!
Play a game this year. If someone tells you about their New Year’s Resolution, listen and smile and nod and encourage them. Then three weeks later, casually check in and ask how it’s going.
If they are doing it, great! Check back in after three more weeks, and over 92% of people will have a giant list of reasons why they didn’t, couldn’t, and even shouldn’t do it. Why something else or someone else got in their way. How they’ll do it when they feel better or the weather gets better. This becomes a never-ending list of excuses where the person justifies not doing what they said they wanted to do.
And here’s the really rough part, because this is not meant to poke fun. As we all know, it’s actually no fun at all. It can be very painful at a deep level when we feel we are not getting what we want and need or when we feel we are not living up to expectations.
Wanting Something Is A Good Thing
When we want something, it’s a good thing. That means that we see a different and better future as being possible for us. Possibilities are very exhilarating and enlivening. Possibilities can inspire us. Wanting something more that is meaningful is part of the excitement of life.
Make a New Year’s Resolution to Avoid All New Year’s Resolutions and Think of It As Your Horse Irresolution!
So it’s not that we don’t want new and meaningful things in our life. It’s that we refuse to put ourselves in the position of failing at New Year’s Resolutions, which the statistics say is pretty much inevitable. Just don’t do it. Enjoy yourself and your loved ones and the holidays. Preserve your dreams and desires and hold the picture of new possibilities. Enjoy your dreams as if they were here today.
Then one day they may just show up in your life. Or you may decide to do something. But it won’t be because of a New Year’s Resolution. You’ll change when it feels right, or maybe learn to love and delight in what you have. There are many ways we can get we want and still be very kind to ourselves.
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
30+Years Supporting Horse Lovers
P.S. When you’re ready for solutions, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free Phone Call to get pointed in the right direction.
P.P.S. For more information now: Horse Training and Why Our Horse Needs It
P.P.P.S. Click this link to get the free report series: Horse Frustrations? You Are Not Alone
Why? Horse arguments don’t work for many of the same reasons that other arguments don’t work.
Please follow along for how this applies to people and then to horses.
Arguments Are Often Born Out of Frustration
Horse Arguments Don’t WorkWhen we want things to be another way but don’t know how to change them, arguing can become a trap.
Nobody wins when we fight, because no one really wins in an argument. In an argument each person is sticking to a point of view without regard for the other. Often people just end up raising their voice or repeating the same thing over and over to justify a position even when it clearly isn’t working. When that happens, nobody wins.
We should all be winners. If we listen and pay attention, we might actually learn something of value. We may develop understanding and empathy for what is going on which may give us insight on how to improve the situation. It probably makes a lot of sense from the other’s point of view. If we keep arguing, it just becomes a barrier between us.
Arguing Is Not a Resourceful Way to Deal with People
If the argument is with a loved one or another adult, it is often easy to see that that the relationship is not ideal. But it may not be as easy to see that arguing can be the cause of the problems, not the result.
If the argument is with a small child, it’s at least as big a problem. We are the authority figure with our child and if we are arguing, they are not accepting this, and neither are we. It is not possible for a child to be making adult decisions about how life works or to be running the household.
There Can Be Disagreement without Argument
Yes, there can be disagreement without argument. There can be disagreement with understanding. When we are the one in the position of leadership, we can adjust to fit the situation, but we just keep leading the way.
Now, how does this apply to horses?
Horse Arguments
Arguing doesn’t work with horses, either. The reasons are along the lines of why arguing doesn’t work with a young child. If we are locked in a power struggle with our horse, we really cannot win. They only challenge a leader when they believe there is a chance for them to gain something and become the leader over the challenged one (us!). And if they succeed, nobody wins. It is a very unhappy situation.
We can’t have horses trying to be the leader in our human world. It’s just not possible for them. This is similar to how a child cannot be running a household, it is not possible for them to do. It is the wrong order of things and will cause everybody grief.
Horse Arguments Paradoxes
Horses present us with some paradoxes.
Horses do not enter into a power struggle with their leader. They just don’t. So that means we are allowing them to believe there is a chance that they are the leader, and this would be an impossible and dangerous situation. They cannot and should not lead in our world.
However, it is in a horse’s nature to always be checking their place in the leadership chain of command. This is for their survival, so we can’t be oblivious, or we will fail to notice what’s going on. Also, we can’t blame them for their nature. It’s the way they’re wired.
In a herd of ten horses, while #10 will not challenge #1, they may well challenge #9. When we are with our horse, there are only two of us. That is why their nature may lead to challenges. This is particularly true if they feel unsafe. Notice and take care of safety issues, but keep leading the way.
Further complicating our relationship with our horse are two more things:
Horses establish leadership by moving each other’s feet. We can become knowledgeable and skillful on how to do that. But unless we are aware, we may not notice that our horse is asserting leadership over us by moving our feet. We can miss the small challenges and then be surprised when a bigger challenge shows up.
Also, horse’s are very fast learners and can experience one-time learning. They notice when we are caught by surprise and momentarily confused or uncertain. This can happen when they become frightened or when they assert themselves and we are confronted with their strength and power. Unfortunately, they can immediately learn to put more effort into doing that thing again. Oh, my.
How do we reconcile these contradictory elements?
To simplify:
Horses are very aware of leadership and their safety minute-to-minute and if we are not the leader, they MUST lead.
Also, if we are not the leader, they WILL lead, they just don’t have a clue how to do it in our world. That’s how we end up seeing people with horses behaving badly and dangerously.
Horses Always Need A Leader And The Leader Needs To Be Us
We can be a kind, caring, and understanding leader, as long as we are still the leader.
The good news is horses are much more comfortable once they know where they stand in the leadership chain of command. They feel better when they feel they have a leader. If we are a good leader, they will happily follow.
The Result?
They are much happier when we are the leader. We are much happier. It is right order of things.
So don’t enter into a power struggle, just don’t do it. Learn to be more aware (because horses are hyper-aware) but refuse to see it as a power struggle and just keep leading. Don’t over-challenge your horse, but remember that persistence equals leadership. Try to be understanding of what it going on, but we need to incrementally teach our horse what they need know. Then an argument never even gets started.
Again, imagine a small boy who is allowed to refuse to go to school. Before long, he will be 17 and strong of body, but without mental, emotional, physical and social understanding and control. By then, he may be a menace to himself and society. Our horse is already stronger than that 17-year-old boy. In fact, horses are bigger, stronger, and faster than the fastest human. Horses need good leadership and their education to learn how to behave in our human world.
We may need more skills and knowledge around leadership to understand our horse’s nature and behavior. Otherwise, we may misinterpret what is going on. In many ways, horses are quite different from us. One example is that their main means of defense is to run away. That’s why it’s important to notice when they begin to feel trapped and threatened. It’s hard to wrap our mind around the fact that horses are afraid for their life every day. Unfortunately, they feel trapped and threatened more easily that we may expect.
Leadership is an awesome responsibility, but the attitude of leadership is a most important key with horses.
Horse Arguments Antidote – Adopt an Attitude of Leadership
Follow my lead because you’re safe with me and I always know what to do. (Of course, then the trick is to deliver on that promise.)
How Do We Get The Best Out Of Each Other?
It’s not by arguing and fighting.
A well-respected horseman said that some human has to teach a horse to argue because it’s not in their nature. Let’s don’t be that human. Instead, we can just learn to lead.
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
30+ years supporting horse lovers
P.S. For a free 15-minute phone consultation, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free Phone Call.
Thinking about if you should sell your horse? Read this first.
Sell Your Horse?
If you have already decided to sell your horse, please read no further and the best of luck and good wishes for finding a perfect new home.
Before You Sell Your Horse Read This
If you are on the fence – if things just aren’t working the way you wanted – you are not alone.
We have all been in this position and it’s definitely a tough place to be.
When our dreams just aren’t coming true, it can make us sad, confused, and make us question everything we thought we knew.
What About Our Dreams?
Wasn’t this supposed to be wonderful and amazing, and wasn’t this supposed to be fun? Wasn’t it supposed to be “Our Dream Come True?”
As we begin to feel that things are not going to work out the way we wanted, we can experience so many feelings – from sad to angry to disillusioned to desperate. This is not what we wanted!
If we are in fear for our safety, then this is magnified. If our spouse is afraid for our safety, we are probably in over our head. As we know, when we lose the support of our spouse, we can’t really win.
If this is happening to you or someone you know, it is quite possible that you can win back your dream and the support of your loved ones.
Our loved ones should feel lucky that we have our horse because our horse makes us so happy and alive, so relaxed, and puts us in such a good mood. Then we will have their full support and everybody, including our horse, will benefit greatly.
If you are on the fence, I’m happy for you. This means you still have hope about your dream. For more reading to gain insight on what is going on and what you can do to make it better right now, check out:
Surprisingly, just some reading and minor adjustments in handling and understanding may enable us to turn the situation around. Minor adjustments actually turn out to make major differences. Most of all, if you are a horse lover, you may enjoy what you discover. Your horse will thank you, too.
Best of luck to you because you can probably change this. In the meantime, be sure to stay safe.
My sincerest wish for you and your horse is that this gets going on a good path. Remember, the horse you always wanted may be right inside the horse you already have!
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
Horse-Solutions.com
30+ years of supporting horse lovers
P.S. Questions? Email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
Even if we always just wanted to look out the window and see a horse, let’s think about our horse for a minute.
What if your life partner hooked up with you because you looked really nice and they wanted to have you around and occasionally stroke your hair?
You would provide something to look at and occasionally stroke and they would provide food, water, shelter. That’s it. How would that be? Is that what we really had in mind for a marriage or relationship? Would that be fulfilling?
Another way we might look at it: What if someone wanted to have a child but didn’t want to mother.
Why Is Nothing The Worst Thing To Do With A Horse?
Horses are life-long learners. People are life-long learners. Learning keeps us young, feeling vibrant, and keeps us forever interested – and interesting!
Imagine a young child in class raising their hand all excited: Pick me, I know the answer! We don’t want to knock that out of them like many schools and classmates do.
But if our approach is one of home schooling our bright loved one, think of how much fun it can be for both of us. We create and develop shared experiences that last a lifetime.
Surprisingly, horses are like that, too, they can be very eager learners.
You are invited to consider this in order to examine whether things are going as well as they could be or as well as you’d like with your horse. But this holds true with other relationships, too. At its best, life is a wonderful shared experience.
When this type of transformation occurs, things can become much better than we can possibly imagine from our current vantage point.
Is doing nothing really the worst thing we can do with our horse?
It can be argued that a worse thing would be for us or our horse to get hurt. While this is certainly true, the fewer good interactions we have with our horse, the higher the chance of this happening.
What are our Horse Dreams and how do we honor them and ourselves to get the most out of life for ourselves and our magnificent partner. There are a million things we can do with our horse – begin with one.
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
30+ years supporting horse Lovers
P.S. Feeling stuck? Email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
If you were like me, then one of the first words out of your mouth was horse. It took me a long time to realize my Horse Dreams – but in time, it happened.
Why Horse Dreams Are So Important
Dreams are desires and deeply held wishes, and they are so important.
In our imaginations we live the life we dream. We can experience our amazing potential in our dreams. And Dreams Do Come True.
Looking at it another way, isn’t it sad when a person has no dreams. Even if a dream were to never come true, it is still much better to dream than to have no dreams at all.
Love for horses and horse dreams have kept so many of us excited, vital, lively and perpetually interested. It seems we just can’t get enough, and it is very enlivening.
The word ‘Horse’ sparks something in us.
To this day, I’ll be driving down the highway and see a sign that says House For Sale, and I’ll somehow read it as Horse and start looking around for the horse!
Dreams Do Come True
If we remember that Dreams Do Come True, then there’s another important piece of the puzzle. No matter what anyone else says or does, we just have to remember that it is OUR dream. No one can dream OUR dream for us. They can only have THEIR dream – and let them. But we cannot allow anyone to say or do anything to negatively affect OUR dreams.
We can keep our Horse Dreams protected and alive and enjoy them immensely.
Horses seem to enjoy us immensely, too.
The only thing better than having great Horse Dreams is living them.
The Best Horse is the horse that knows what we want to do and wants to do it with us.
While certain horses or breeds may be better mentally, emotionally, or physically for what we want to do, here’s the simple yet surprising truth:
More On How To Get The Best Horse
We can’t find the best horse.
We can’t buy the best horse.
Why? Because we CREATE the best horse.
We do this by teaching them how to behave, what we want them to know, and what we want them to do.
Horses have little chance of thriving in our human world without learning some things.
Why Horse Training is really Horse Teaching
Isn’t it odd when you think about it? Why is it that we and our children need at least 12 years of school and our horses need zero. The normal training time of 30 to 60 days is basically zero, unless you do it yourself and then you both just keep going and growing happily from there. If you do it yourself, you’ll end up with something very valuable and something you both will be proud of.
With the exception of teaching a horse to be ridden and go under saddle (which are usually best done by someone kind, competent, and very experienced), if you teach your horse yourself, you will have something both you and your horse will benefit from greatly – and forever! Then you both just keep improving happily from there.
Learning can be fun, though that may not have been our experience in school. We can change things right now so that it is fun for both us and our horse.
Learning keeps us young, vibrant, excited, and exciting! Our life and the lives of our loved ones benefit so much when we feel happy and fulfilled.
Another way to think about this is: We can become the best teacher by knowing what to teach our horse and how to teach them. Like home schooling – both student and teacher get smarter and the relationship grows in meaningful and unforeseen ways. If done right, both have a lot of fun and interesting times shared together. These shared experiences last a lifetime.
After all, isn’t the reason we have our horse because we want to truly enjoy them? We want to spend time and do things together with them? They really appreciate this, too.
There is this special thing we always wanted with our horse, and it’s actually pretty easy to get. Horses are smart, they can bond easily, and they are forgiving.
We are lucky that horses are smart. Fortunately, we humans are smarter! We can learn to teach our horse and then our horse will be waiting for us at the gate saying: I have the BEST HUMAN!
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
30+ years supporting horse lovers
P.S. For questions, feel free to email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
Kathy and I were talking about her and her horse and the way the conversation developed is just mind blowing. Very moving.
The idea was to explore different roles and responsibilities in life and then look at how they apply with horses.
For example, in life, many women take care of the laundry. Kathy agreed that she pretty much took care of the laundry and that Bill, her dearly loved husband who has passed, took care of tack and cleaning tack. Those were obvious areas where one of them was in the lead.
A shared activity occasionally was that she would make a dish he particularly loved, if he would cut up all the vegetables for it. While this was a shared activity, she was still the leader in putting it all together and having it come out right.
This is where it begins getting really interesting. I know how much she still loves her husband and I asked her to talk about their relationship a bit.
Here is what she had to say:
There was a lot of mutual Respect.
We had Pride in each other.
We had Concern for each other.
We would Check In with each other to make sure we were reading the situation correctly.
We had a lot of Patience with each other.
We would Give Each Other Time and Space when needed to work through things.
We were Tickled by each other – there was a light air and we would laugh and joke around.
We Really Enjoyed each other.
By the time she had gone down this list that was so quickly available in her head, my eyes were moist thinking about the beauty of the amazing relationship they created together.
At this Holiday Time of Year, it made me think of how this describes the kind of relationship we all would like to have with our loved ones and other special people in our life.
And then I realized it also describes the kind of relationship we would love to have with our horse!
If we had a relationship with our horse that was full of:
Politeness
Respect
Pride
Concern
Always Checking In to see how they are doing
Patience
Giving Each Other Time and Space to learn and understand
Being Tickled and Enjoying each other’s company
The Perfect Recipe
Isn’t this what we always wanted! Isn’t this a perfect recipe for a fantastic relationship and for a lifetime of mutually fulfilling and fun times with our horse!
As long as we remember who the Chef is – There can be only one Chef. The Chef is ultimately responsible for the meal. And the other is grateful for it.
Our horse is grateful to us for being the leader – 51% leader and no less – in our shared activities.
Then we can have what we always wanted.
Here’s to our never-ending love affair with horses!
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
30+ years supporting horse lovers P.S. If you or someone you know would like to expand this “special something” that we all know is possible, feel free to email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com. Subject: Set up free 15-minute phone call. P.P.S. Click this link if you would like to receive the Free Report Series: Horse Frustrations? You Are Not Alone
The idea of a Win-Win situation is that both parties feel they benefit from a deal.
But we can make it Win-Win-Win with our horse!
Here’s a Win-Win example: you need a special gift and you find something perfect and in your price range. So both you and the person who sold it to you win, because they priced it.
Or, you want a new car or truck and find just what you are looking for at what you consider a great price. Both you and the seller win. Again, Win-Win.
Isn’t It Great To Feel Like A Winner?
If we take this a little further, isn’t it great to feel like a winner? Doesn’t that make us feel really happy?
Think of a time when you won something and how great it felt. Or think of a time when your friend or your kid or your team won something and how exciting it was. Winning is a great feeling, especially if others win, too.
How Everyone Can Feel Like A Winner
With our horse, it’s possible for us to make the situation a Win-Win-Win!
We can go out to see our horse and feel like a WINNER!
Our horse can look forward to seeing us because they feel like a WINNER!
And Our loved ones can enjoy supporting us in the time we spend with our horse. They get the benefit of how happy and alive and relaxed it makes us, and so our loved ones feel like a WINNER!
Three Wins: Win-Win-Win – You, your horse, your loved ones. Perfect!
Every day can be like this!
And, fortunately, this is not hard to do.
Knowing what to do and how to do it makes this happen.
Pat Moses
30+ years of supporting horse lovers
P.S. If you want to figure out how to make it Win-Win-Win for your situation right now, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Schedule Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
In the beginning, there was a dream. The dream was of us and our horse together and happy.
Stubborn Horse? Simple Steps To Change.
In reality, we now feel that we have a stubborn horse.
We wish it were another way, and it can be. Definitely.
Our horse will change faster than we can possibly imagine.
In all areas of life the easiest thing to change is ourselves. It is also the hardest thing to change due to our habits, beliefs, and values. But that still doesn’t mean it isn’t really easy to change ourselves or that we shouldn’t do it.
Horses are smart. Fortunately, we are smarter!
With our stubborn horse, we need to be fair, kind, and more stubborn!
Stubborn Horse? First, Be Safe
Safety is always of utmost importance. We, for sure, would not want to approach the horse in this picture from this angle. We don’t ever want to put ourselves or our loved ones in a dangerous position.
Once you have determined that you are safe, try this out. On the ground, with a halter and lead rope on, pick a simple thing that you know absolutely that your horse can do. Pick a safe environment so that you have plenty of room so no one gets hurt. Then, with your body language, ask your horse to do it UNTIL he makes some slight shift in the direction you have in mind. Watch closely. Keep a good distance apart to equalize reaction times.
Keep watching your horse’s face. Is he: Watching you? Looking away? Relaxed? Tense? Afraid of something? Is he listening to you? That’s the big one. Keep asking and watching until your horse does something (the slightest something) in the direction of what you asked.
Know When To Stop
If you will immediately stop asking and relax to acknowledge each little try, quite soon your horse will come to understand you are talking to him and that his leader is telling him to do something. This is also how you become leader, which is probably part of the real issue anyway.
Build little steps and string them together. Each little step is a victory for us and our horse.
Most horses don’t even know we are talking to them or that there is some understandable communication going on. Soon things will begin changing once you convince your horse there is something to understand and that you will out-persist them.
Persistence equals leadership.
Use Body Language
Use your body language to communicate. Imagine someone was speaking Japanese to you and you don’t know any Japanese. You would have to rely on other cues and clues to figure out what they were talking about. If they said “come this way” in Japanese you might not understand. But if they took your arm and ushered you forward, you would get it. Horses communicate with body language, so you will immediately be speaking in a way they have more chance of understanding.
Video yourself so you can review it. See whether it feels the same while you watch it as it did while you were doing it.
Be fair and persistent. (Persistent is like insistent, but more so.)
Probably best not to be riding until your horse understands and accepts your leadership.
Good luck and welcome to a whole new and amazing chapter of life with your horse.
There will be lots more on this topic as we go along.
Pat Moses
30+ Years of Supporting Horse Lovers
Horse-Solutions
P.S. If you want to ask questions about your specific situation, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
Finally, we have our horse! Now how do we get our horse listening to us?
In the beginning, there was a dream. The dream was of us and our amazing horse.
How To Get Our Horse Listening To Us.
But now, we feel we can’t even get our horse listening to us. Why is that, we wonder. What went wrong? This is not what we wanted!
We wish it were another way. The good news is it can be. Definitely. Our horse will change faster than we can possibly imagine.
In all areas of life the easiest thing to change is ourselves. It is also the hardest thing to change due to our habits, beliefs, and values. But that still doesn’t mean it isn’t really easy to change ourselves or that we shouldn’t do it.
Horse Not Listening? There Are Reasons.
When our horse is not listening and doing what we tell them to do, there are reasons. The first reason, and probably the most likely reason, is that our horse doesn’t even know we are telling them to do something! Horses are extremely aware, but believe it or not, most of the time, our horse doesn’t get any understandable communication from us. So they just tune us out. Another reason is that many things seem easy to us, but are very difficult for horses. We may be asking something that the horse is not fully prepared for. It’s is our job to prepare our horse. Small steps work better than big steps.
When we feel we can’t get our horse listening to us, we can ask some questions. Am I: Standing in a good and safe position? Really being clear about what I am asking my horse to do? Standing far enough away from my horse that they can see I’m asking something? Is this something my horse can actually do or is it too confusing or advanced? Am I giving my full attention to my horse while I am expecting full attention back? Is my mind somewhere else? Am I talking to another non-horse (human) instead of giving full attention to my horse? Am I so focused on the end result that I am forgetting to notice and reward the small tries so my horse and I can enjoy all of the the little successes along the way?
The Beauty Is In The Moment
If we can remember that the beauty is in the moment to moment journey and in the time we get to spend with our horse, it will help us and our horse tremendously. If we are focused on a future event, say the completion of the thing we are trying to do, we are already disconnected from our horse. Horses live in the present moment and they know it when we are not right there with them. They feel the disconnect, they feel they are all alone, and they feel they have to watch out for themselves. Unfortunately for them, they are tied to us.
So let’s make it a habit of getting into the moment with our horse. This is the thing we are craving anyway and may be part of the reason we got our horse in the first place.
Horse Listening? Or We Aren’t Speaking?
If our horse won’t listen, it may be that we are not speaking in a language that they understand.
On the ground, with your horse on a line: Pick something you know your horse would be able to do. Be in a safe place with plenty of space around. Keep a safe distance from your horse. This distance is farther than you think because it helps equalize reaction times and allows the horse to see us better. Check out The Golden Rule of Horse Safety.
Use your body language: Stand relaxed then stand up straight and look your horse in the eyes. Did your horse notice? If so, great. If not, repeat several times to see if they look at you.
Don’t make a big deal out of it, but you are going to do this every time before you ask something of your horse.
There will soon come an amazing time when all you will have to do is begin to stand up straight and look at them and they will look at you knowing you are going to do something together! What a feeling! This is the beginning of a great connection and relationship.
Horses Notice Everything
Horses notice everything. It is we who may not be giving them anything to notice.
Ask your horse to do the thing you had in mind. Watch closely: Keep watching your horse’s face. Is he: watching you? Looking away? Afraid of something? Relaxed? Now, is your horse beginning to listen to you? That’s the big one. Keep asking and watching until your horse does something (the slightest something) in the direction of what you asked. Do not think your horse has to do the end result. Remember: it’s the journey and the journey has many, many steps. See if you can get any shift in the direction of what you’re asking.
Horses Don’t Know We’re Communicating!
Many (or most) horses don’t even know we are talking to them or that there is something they can understand. Change that and everything changes.
Be kind to yourself and your horse and be a detective of the little changes. Reward them by pausing, acknowledging their try, and then ask again. Your horse and you will like it better.
Suggestion: Video yourself doing this so you can see if it looks the same as it felt while you were doing it. You can learn a lot from a video.
Good luck and welcome to a whole new and amazing chapter of life with your horse.
There will be lots more on this topic as we go along, so stay tuned.
Pat Moses
30+ Years of Supporting Horse Lovers
Horse-Solutions.com
P.S. If you just want answers right now about how to get your horse listening and doing what you want, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call
Dangerous horse? How did we go from our dream of us and our horse being great friends and doing things together, to this!
We had dreams and expectations, now we feel we are in a dangerous horse situation.
We wish it were another way. The good news is it can be different. Definitely. Our horse will change faster than we can possibly imagine when we change.
In all areas of life the easiest thing to change is ourselves. It is also the hardest thing to change due to our habits, beliefs, and values. But that still doesn’t mean it isn’t really easy to change ourselves or that we shouldn’t do it.
At all times with horses, but especially when our horse is dangerous, we have to be very careful. We don’t want anyone to get injured or killed. Please, please don’t forget that this is how serious a dangerous horse situation can be.
Other potential losses are loss of our confidence, loss of hope, and loss of our dream and passion.
Please do not let things go this far. Get Help.
If we or the horse or one of our loved ones gets hurt, it can mean the end of all things ‘horse’ in our life. This is definitely somewhere we do not want to go! Take precautions and if you are in over your head, get proper professional help quickly.
I do believe that most situations are fixable.
The goal is to get you over stumbling blocks as quickly as possible so you can continue on with your horse and have good horse behavior. If our horse feels dangerous, we must stop and get help.
Why Are Horses So Dangerous?
First of all, horses are bigger and stronger and faster than any human.
Dangerous Horse Fighting. We don’t want this anywhere near us.
They are used to dealing with other horses who are more or less equal in size, speed, strength, and shape. They determine leadership with each other and it is very important to them.
I think we humans have trouble fully understanding how much horses need a leader. When they don’t feel we are the leader, then they have to lead because they feel their survival depends on it. Horses worry about their survival every day. They don’t know that we got rid of the large predators in our environment. They are constantly alert and expecting them to jump out of the trees and bushes. It makes them nervous and worried. A leaf flutters and they are often hyper-aware, but we often are unaware of their concerns. Their fast reaction time can catch us off guard. Believing they have a good leader makes them much more secure and safe to be around.
Their dangerous horse behavior can shock us when they go into survival mode. Horses live in the exact present moment and they worry about their survival. We tend to feel we know what is going on, so we are often unaware. Horses really notice this.
When our horse is in the situation of feeling they have to be the leader, they are not happy. The same way that a child knows deep down that they are wrong when they try to lead the household.
Leadership is an awesome responsibility, but we have to prove to them that we are the leader, we are aware, and “we’ve got this.”
If you are afraid, but you really believe in your heart that can get through it, here are some ideas on what to do.
First, be sure to check out The Golden Rule of Horse Safety to find out how to be as safe as possible with your horse. Nothing good comes from us or our horse getting hurt.
Remember that horses are pattern animals. Whatever they did that gets them a benefit, they will do again. In this way, you can prepare for what will, undoubtedly, happen. If they have done it 2 times and they got any benefit from it, they will do it a third. If they have done it 3 times, it is now a habit.
Most horses only have a couple or so problems. If we can deal with them by interrupting the pattern or causing the thing they are doing to seem like a bad idea in their own mind, we may be able to handle the situations that come up.
Dangerous Horse Safety
The most important thing is to be a safe distance away from your horse. Have enough space around and between you and your horse to help equalize reaction times. Remember, horses are fast and we need everyone to stay safe. I repeat, the worst thing is for someone or something to get hurt. Please avoid this. Use a longer rope if you have the skill.
If you decide you don’t have the skill, seek proper help right away. Don’t put yourself, your loved ones, or your horse in a bad position. Get proper help and learn how to change your behavior with your horse.
When we can change, that is when our horse can change.
Many problems may be able to be solved by a few good tips. This may be possible to do through phone or video coaching.
In almost all instances things can be worked out – as long as no one gets injured.
Seek out help and it may lead to a whole new and amazing chapter in your life. That is my sincerest wish for you and your horse.
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
30+ Years of Supporting Horse Lovers
Horse-Solutions
P.S. If you want answers for your specific situation, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
Different Horse Behavior? Why This Horse May Not Be Like Our Other Horse
Why this horse is not like our other horse.
In the beginning, there was a dream. The dream was of us and our horse. Our magnificent friend, our fellow adventurer. We would love and protect each other. We would do all sorts of things together. Oh the dreams and expectations.
In reality, we now feel that our horse just seems so different from what we are used to. We expected different horse behavior. What went wrong? Why does it seem so hard to change? This is not going the way I want!
We wish it were another way. The good news is it can be different. Definitely.
Our horse will change faster than we can possibly imagine.
In all areas of life the easiest thing to change is ourselves. It is also the hardest thing to change due to habits, beliefs, and values. But that still doesn’t mean it isn’t really easy to change ourselves or that we shouldn’t do it.
Now we have a second horse and things are not going the same as with our first horse or the horses that were in our lives earlier.
Why We Get Different Horse Behavior
It is extremely common thinking to believe that horses know some things innately. The fact is, previous horses were taught everything they know about our human world by us or another human. We forget or are unaware of how much our previous horse learned and now we have a horse that doesn’t know all those things. They may know some good things, they may know some not so good things, but their education may be incomplete and we are unaware of this.
We wouldn’t send our 6 year old child to 3rd grade and then to 8th grade, then 12th, and expect them to function in the world. Most horses get no education at all because we somehow think they just know things – things that someone actually needs to teach them.
On top of the lack of education problem, every horse is different. Horses are like people in that we all have different personalities. Your new horse may have a different or very different personality from the horse or horses you had before. We can learn strategies to interact with the different horse personalities just like we do with different humans. In that way, we can learn quickly how to successfully interact with our new horse.
Tip: Most issues will be solved with education.
Take the time to give them their education. This is the beautiful journey of horse and human together that we always wanted, anyway. Horses are life-long learners and so are we. Learning keeps us young, vital, interested, and interesting! There is no limit to what we can do and where we can go with our horse, as long as we don’t skip grades.
Pat
Horse-Solutions.com
P.S. If you just want answers right now about why your horse is different, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
We can learn How To Avoid Horse Behavior Problems and, instead, get the horse behavior we want.
We love horses! That’s something we have in common.
While there are all types of horses and all types of horse people, there is something else we have in common – we want and need to Get Good Horse Behavior and avoid horse behavior problems.
Horse Behavior Problems? Get Good Horse Behavior Instead
Good horse behavior makes us safer and happier.
It also makes our horse safer and happier. (The same way that a child is much better off when they know how to behave and what is expected of them.)
Get Good Horse Behavior is all about getting the horse behavior we want and avoiding horse behavior problems that represent the horse behavior we don’t want.
Ways Horse Behavior Problems Happen
Sometimes the horse behavior we want can be elusive because we and our horse can quickly get into patterns and habits, and it’s easy to not realize that things could be so much better.
Sometimes the horse behavior problems we don’t want are difficult to notice because they sneak up on us – and then we may feel confused. We end up wondering how we got here.
How I Learned A Lesson
I’ll give an example from my past and how I learned a big lesson about horse behavior problems – the hard way:
When I got my first horse, I was ecstatic. Finally!
I loved him and groomed him and fed him some good grain because he was a little thin. I wanted him to look better, feel better, and for his coat to get nice and shiny. He started putting on weight and he looked really good.
As the weeks went by, I noticed that he started becoming more high-headed and jittery, but I didn’t know what to make of it. Within a few months, he was so jacked up with energy from the extra feed I was giving that he became first unmanageable and then dangerous.
Guess what? I still didn’t know what was going wrong!
People told me that he would wheel and kick with both hind legs. I was in denial until he did it to me! Yikes! He sent me flying and I was lucky to get by with a bruise the size of a grapefruit rather than a broken leg – or worse. Thank goodness it happened to me and not to my friends or their kids.
Now I know that when I hear about a change in behavior where a horse begins acting overly nervous and jumpy, the first place we can look is: what are they being fed. When this happens, it’s not our horse’s fault. And, it’s not our fault! We are just trying to take the best possible care of them. But the results can be problematic.
The Value of The Lesson
The value of this experience came only later:
First, because I never made that mistake again!
Secondly, when I could point this out to others to turn their situation around easily.
My “dream come true” suddenly turned into my nightmare. I didn’t realize what was wrong, but I was scared. Wow, I had a lot to learn!
So much of what I have learned came literally through the school of hard knocks. But now I believe it doesn’t have to be that way.
It Doesn’t Have To Be That Way
With some pointers, I believe we can take short-cuts that allow us to have the horse we always wanted sooner and easier. And, in a manner that is safer for us, our loved ones, and our horse.
When I started out, I searched for answers, but it took a long time to find those answers or to figure them out for myself.
Unfortunately, I needed the answers then. Now I wonder if I would have even known what questions to ask.
Today I realize that it all condenses to this: Get Good Horse Behavior.
I’m definitely better off knowing the things I have learned over time. Now I want to share so others don’t have to go through the same long process of trial and error.
As the story above shows, it can be easy to innocently get things going down a wrong path. What I thought was a good thing (feeding him extra) was actually causing problems.
Get Good Horse Behavior looks at solutions and short-cuts that can benefit anyone who is around horses. Here are some of the things we’ll cover:
Pat Moses
Horse-Solutions.com
30+ Years of Supporting Horse Lovers
P.S. If you want ideas right now on how you can avoid horse problem behavior, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
If you are having horse behavior problems, overfeeding your horse is one of the first places to look.
It can be a big surprise to learn how many problems can come from overfeeding and how simply changing this one thing can make such a big difference with our horse.
In fact, here’s a big surprise I got. Our Vet, who is a very respected Veterinarian in the region said this to me: “Believe me, Overweight is a much bigger problem than underweight.” This is from a well respected Vet speaking from a health viewpoint. This makes sense when we consider all the health issues people have that are associated with overweight in adults and children.
In nature, horses eat throughout the day, they eat grass, and they typically don’t become overweight. (Good quality hay is just dried grass, so we can think of it the same way, but with less sugars to be concerned about.)
Correct Weight Formula: Food in = energy output.
Many of our horses don’t get a lot of exercise on a daily basis, so may not need as much food as we think.
One reason horses need to keep fit is so that they can run away and keep up with the herd. Flight is our horse’s main defense. They are quick to run from anything they consider dangerous. It is the overweight horse that can injure themselves trying to keep up.
Overfeeding Causes Overweight
Overweight is a problem mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Mentally – They are feeling too good to be good. They just can’t contain themselves. It’s like kids in grade school on a big sugar high – it’s not good for anyone.
Emotionally – It puts them on even higher alert than normal. Horses are fast and strong by nature and the way they survive is to run away. We wouldn’t want this horse behavior close to us.Many people are shocked and caught off-guard at the speed and strength of their horse when they go into survival mode. Also, many people are surprised to learn that horses are worried about their survival every day.
With overfeeding, everything is magnified. They become hyper-alert, more jumpy, more worried about their safety and surroundings, and much more reactive to things they don’t understand. There are a lot of things in our human world that we understand, but horses do not – especially anything new, moved, or fluttery. Again, with overfeeding, they are feeling just too good to be good. They can’t quiet down and behave – they just can’t.
Physically – A host of physical problems can arise. The short list includes organs (colic) and structure (muscle, tendon, joint, ligament injuries).
Rescue horses, especially, tend to get overfed because they are often undernourished. But if we overfeed, we will soon find a very different horse from the one we rescued. Suddenly, we will start seeing these mental and emotional problems show up and it can catch us by surprise.
If your horse seems overly thin, have a Vet check teeth and whether they need de-worming. That way, they will get the most possible benefit from the food they eat.
If you somehow rescued a stallion – it happens! – and you are not expert with stallions, you are probably in over your head. Seek help, geld him, or move him to a place set up for handling stallions.
Summary
It’s easy to try to “feed” our horse so they will love us – but what horses really love is a reliable, secure leader so they feel safe.
Overfeeding will come out as a lot of behavioral problems – “their personality on steroids” – and this is exactly what we don’t want, especially in the beginning. Horses are already stronger and faster than us. When we overfeed we get a horse that is “Fat and Sassy” and “Jumping Out Of Their Skin.” These are big problems to deal with even for very advanced people, and we don’t want to set ourselves or our horse up for failure.
If you are experiencing behavior problems, cut back on grain, or just don’t feed it in the first place. If you are boarding and they feed grain, ask them to just give a tiny handful. Use your judgment when adjusting feed, but often a few pellets of grain will satisfy them because they hear it and feel like they got their grain. Then they will just eat more hay. Hopefully the hay is good quality hay and hopefully not alfalfa. Alfalfa is usually more than most of our horses need and a little goes a long way. Then, if our horse is showing behavioral problems, we will have to cut back on the alfalfa, too. This means our horse will not get to eat throughout the day as they can with grass and grass hay.
How to make it worse: Confine and over-feed.
How to make it better: Good quality grass hay (as much as they want) and low/no grain, room to move around, a herd to be part of, and the mental stimulation of learning and interacting with us.
No one has the ideal set up for their horse, yet these simple adjustments can often make things dramatically better.
Pat Moses
30+ Years of Supporting Horse Lovers
Horse-Solutions
P.S. If you would like to ask questions about your specific situation, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
However we can use “The Golden Rule of Horse Safety” to be immediately safer with our horse.
This is the most common mistake many horse owners make:
Too close to their horse.
Look around a little and observe others and you’ll see this for yourself.
Why Do We Get Too Close for Horse Safety?
First, why do we want to get so close to our horse? We love them! We want to be near them! We want to touch them! But it can be dangerous for us.
How Horses Stay Safe. But What About Us? Observe The Golden Rule of Horse Safety.
Second, let’s understand why horses want to get close to us. It’s hard to wrap our mind around the fact that horses are afraid for their survival every single day. Think of how many times we’ve seen horses standing or eating or moving in a group where we can’t even tell from a distance how many horses there are unless we know. This is deliberate and it’s natural to them—they deter and confuse any predator by looking much bigger than an individual horse looks and they can take off running together to escape if necessary.
Our horse’s main defense is to run away. They notice every movement and change in their environment—and they’re fast!
No Problem for Horses, but What About Us?
Horses Can Run Very Close To Each Other Because Of Their Shape.
When horses take off running together, they are equally fast and they are shaped alike. Outside horses run to the inside of the herd for safety and they mix around. Their shoulders, rib cages, and hips are roundish and padded with muscles and their legs and feet are in narrower. Because of this, if they bump into each other some, usually no one gets hurt.
How about our shape? We are tall rather than long. If they try – and they do – to get into the middle of the herd with us, they are on top of us and we are in jeopardy. Since horses are bigger, stronger, and faster than the fastest human, how do we even things out so we can interact more safely with our horse?
The Golden Rule of Horse Safety:
Stay At Least 4 Feet Away
Again, look around and see how often people put themselves in risky positions.
Instead of being unconscious of the danger, do whatever it takes to build this new habit. If we are having any sort of horse issues, this simple but profound change will help us be immediately safer.
Tip: Even more distance may be needed depending on the horse and how they are behaving in the moment. Use good judgment.
4 Feet (48 inches) Is Farther Than We Think.
Measure it out. No part of our body should be within 4 feet of any part of our horse’s body at any time – unless we decide. It is not our horse’s decision.
This will help keep us out of the bite, kick, strike, step on, knock-down zone, if we pay attention and are ready to move.
Also, try to be aware of keeping our feet facing the same direction as our horse, otherwise it’s easy to get stepped on, have our foot pinned so we can’t move, and get knocked down – all within a second. Yikes! These things happen every day – and we don’t want them to happen to us!
Avoid Small Spaces
Avoid going into small spaces with our horse (doorway, stall, trailer, narrow aisle way, etc.). Instead send them in and stay safely outside. If we have to go in briefly, make sure to be the one near the exit so we always have a safe and quick way out.
It’s Our Decision When To Cross the Line
Of course we can cross the 48” imaginary boundary to touch or pet them or do whatever we want and need to do – if it’s safe – but then go out again. Here’s a promise: The Golden Rule of Horse Safety is a good Golden Rule to practice with horses.
Over time, our horse can earn their way back in closer, but only when our vigilance and reflexes are fast enough, and our horse really respects our body space and would never think of invading it. Even when you’re both advanced, a safe distance is worth maintaining.
Does this mean I shouldn’t be riding? Yes, if you are having horse issues. Work them out before you plan to get on.
Pat Moses
Horse-Solutions.com
P.S. If you just need more ideas about horse safety right now, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject Line: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
Not Getting the Horse Behavior Expected? Here may be why.
In the beginning, there was a dream. The dream was of us and our horse. Our magnificent friend, our fellow adventurer. We would love and protect each other. We would do all sorts of things together. Oh the dreams and expectations. In reality, we now feel that we are not getting the horse behavior expected.
Why is that, we wonder, and what went wrong? Why does it seem so hard to change? This is not what I wanted!
We wish it were another way, and the good news is it can be different. Definitely.
Our horse will change faster than we can possibly imagine when we change.
In all areas of life the easiest thing to change is ourselves. It is also the hardest thing to change due to habits, beliefs, and values. But that still doesn’t mean it isn’t really easy to change ourselves or that we shouldn’t do it.
Not Getting The Horse Behavior Expected? Here May Be Why.
So our horse is not what we expected?
I can promise you that you are not what your horse expected.
Your horse expected to be in a herd of horses who all think and act alike and who watch out for the safety of the herd as a top priority.
Horses are tremendously athletic, highly aware of their surroundings and any change in their surroundings (in the sense of life or death).
What About Us?
Are we tremendously athletic? Are we highly aware of our surroundings, or do we just think we have everything figured out? Do we recognize our horse’s herd hierarchy and its importance? Are we able to realize that our horse may not have the needed horse society in our world? Do we get that we are intelligent, reasoning beings, while they are smart, reactive beings? Are we able to understand that while humans, dogs, and cats are all predator species, horses are a prey species?
We’re looking for a friend, and they see a predator. We have some convincing to do.
If we think of it in a slightly different way: What if we were tied up, forced into a vehicle, and wound up in a place where everyone looked strange and we couldn’t understand any of their language. This is the situation horses find themselves in all the time, but we can change that.
Change By Educating
We can change that by educating ourselves about what our horse needs. It’s different than what we may think. We need to treat them like a horse, and teach and care for them like their mother did. Teach them that they are a member of our herd and that we are the herd leader. Most importantly, we need to teach them how to behave and how to survive in our world, and then they can learn to thrive!
If this is helping you to understand some things, then you will just need to learn some horse language, which is body language, and teach some things to your horse.
One of these days you will say: This is not what I expected, this is way better than I ever imagined.
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
Horse-Solutions.com
P.S. If you just need answers right now about your horse expectations, email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set Up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
Horse Attitude Adjustment – How Horses Are Different
If things are not going the way we want with our horse, there needs to be a horse attitude adjustment.
Horse Attitude Adjustment – How To Get Good Horse Behavior
Fortunately, it is our attitude and thoughts that need to be adjusted.
Horses need our understanding and proper attitude, and then their behavior will shift.
To change things with our horse it is helpful to rethink some definitions, attitudes, and mindsets.
Wait! Am I saying all we have to do is change ourselves to change our horse? That’s pretty much it, so put on your thinking-learning hat, and we can begin making those changes.
Horse Definitions
Let’s start with some Horse Definitions that can help us to think and understand horses differently:
Horse Definition 1:
A horse is a different species. A species is a group of living organisms consisting of similar individuals. Horses are Equus. We are Homo Sapiens. Because we are two different species, we need to learn to think differently.
Horse Definition 2:
A horse is a different species that primarily uses their body to communicate rather than voice communication. People tend to use verbalization – words and sounds. We can learn to resist using our voice and instead use our body to communicate like horses do.
Horse Definition 3:
A horse is a different species that is a flight animal. Primarily, their instinct is to instantly run away or escape when afraid. People sometimes choose to fight or go into a self-protective fetal position. When our horse gets afraid for their safety, their speed and strength can shock us. It is helpful if we are more aware of our surroundings and changes in our surroundings like horses are.
Horse Definition 4:
A horse is a different species that is a herd animal. Their safety comes from the herd. We need more awareness that we are bringing the horse into our social structure and taking them away from the safety of their herd.
Horse Definition 5:
(Archaic) A beast of burden.
Horse Definition 6:
A horse is a different species that we want to befriend and form a partnership with. When we do this, something new emerges: together we are greater than we were as individuals.
It is helpful to understand all of these definitions, but horse lovers are more interested in Definition 6 – creating a partner. Horses are so much more than a “beast of burden” and horse lovers want to have that “special something” they know is possible.
If you want to have your horse do things for you and with you because they want to, then keep reading. Here are some helpful mindsets for us.
First, what is a mindset?
Mindset:
1) The established set of attitudes someone holds
2) What we hold in mind.
3) The way we set our mind.
In order to change things with our horse, we can learn to change our Mindsets:
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindsets:
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #1: There is always a next level, and everything will look and feel totally different when you get there.
In other words, things can get much better than we can possibly imagine from where we are right now. And when they do get better, there will be another and better level after that, and another after that. It’s very exciting to think about.
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #2: Attitude is everything.
It pays to adopt an attitude that is positive and continually improving.
Things can get better, happier, easier, more fun, simpler, more gratifying, farther, faster, with more attention, with more understanding, with more willingness – there can always be improvement in every area. It is up to us to notice the improvements. Or they will stop coming.
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #3: Safety is of utmost importance – for both us and our horse.
(See: The Golden Rule of Horse Safety for the simple yet powerful technique that will immediately make you and your loved ones safer with horses.)
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #4: The horse’s needs come first.
We invite them into our world and there is no way for them to figure out what to do or how to behave unless we teach them. Their highest needs are:
1) Our positive attitude
2) Communicating our leadership through our body movements.
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #5: Horses need leadership in order to feel they can survive.
It may be hard for us to realize that horses are afraid minute-to-minute that they may not survive. If we abdicate leadership, they feel totally responsible for their own safety and they have to take over.
Don’t abdicate leadership! Be the leader your horse needs and craves.
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #6: Horses can experience one-time learning.
The result you get is what the horse thinks you want it to do or what it has learned in the past. This is true especially if there is an emotional charge to it. We need to stick with what we are teaching long enough to be sure they are learning the thing we want them to learn.
Persistence shows leadership.
Remember that leadership is what they need and crave. Learn to walk the fine line between persistence and overdoing.
To do this: Break things down into small pieces and quit when you get a positive, incremental change.
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #7: Actions and inactions have consequences.
What we teach them has consequences. What we fail to teach them also has consequences.
Most things we want our horse to know need to be patiently and incrementally taught. Prepare your horse for success.
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #8: We can over-simplify emotions in order to understand horses better.
Of the four primary feelings of Mad, Sad, Glad, and Scared, horses typically experience two: Glad and Scared.
Scared is their “go-to” emotion and is usually experienced as flight from something they fear, or freeze and then flight.
Glad is understood and experienced as dignity and being pleased with self/leader.
Pleased should be our “go-to” emotion. Be pleased all the time. Think about how much nicer it is to be around someone who is pleased than most other emotions. We want our horses to want to be around us.
When asking your horse to do something, make sure to pick a small thing that you’re sure your horse would be able to do. Then, begin with the feeling of pleased, then ask your horse to do the thing you are sure they will be able to accomplish, then return to ‘pleased’ the moment your horse is trying to do what you have in mind.
How To Show You Are Pleased
It’s kind of like the game “You’re Getting Warmer.” Each little step lets you know if you are getting closer to or farther away from the answer. Reward each little step in the right direction by pausing and feeling pleased.
Be pleased at each little try and then ask again. When your horse figures it out, stop everything and be totally pleased. Remember to use your body when you ask – as if you were trying to communicate with a foreigner who doesn’t speak any English. Soon your horse will start looking at you differently and things will improve in surprising ways. Soon your horse will seem smarter.
Other Emotions That Scare Horses
Other than Scared and Glad, any emotion they don’t understand tends to be experienced at Fear/Scared.
Examples of emotions that scare our horse are: feeling sorry for them, worrying, feeling rushed, feeling nervous, thinking about something else, thinking about something else that is emotional or upsetting, getting frustrated, getting upset, getting angry, living in the past, holding on to the past, holding a grudge about the past, even just talking to someone else while not paying attention to our horse.
Horses live in the present moment. When we think about something else, our horse feels abandoned and knows they are all alone in maintaining their safety. When we think about something else with an emotional charge, they don’t understand it and it scares them.
Solution: Stick to Leadership, Glad and Pleased – they are our friends.
Helpful Horse Attitude Mindset #9: You and your horse are in for a lifetime of fun and fulfillment.
If you will adopt these mindsets and methods, you will find this to be one of the truest statements ever.
Why These Helpful Horse Mindsets are so Important
The few minutes you spent reading about your horse is an investment your horse needs you to make in your relationship.
Horses are a different species and they are very smart and they can bond easily with a good leader.
Humans are highly intelligent, so we can learn to understand and respect their nature.
You can refer to the ideas listed above until they become second nature to you. If something seems wrong with your horse, review and ask yourself if you have forgotten to use one of the mindsets.
We want to always look forward to spending time with our horse and to come away feeling happy and fulfilled. It is a gift to ourselves, our loved ones, and our horse.
Horses Forever!
Pat Moses
30+ years of supporting horse lovers
P.S. If you would like to get answers for your specific situation, feel free to email Pat@Horse-Solutions.com, Subject: Set up Free 15-Minute Phone Call.
Prepare Your Horse After Any Layoff To Avoid Horse Behavior Issues.
Thank you for caring about your safety and your horse’s safety.
What is a layoff? Let’s simplify: Whenever our horse is not in regular use, it is a layoff.
In the Spring, it’s easy to forget that our horse has been standing for the winter. But for many horses 3 or 4 days can be a layoff. This can depend on age, spirit, training level – particularly if we are talking about riding.
It’s easy to think we can just pick up where we left off, but this can be a mistake.
It’s not very different from when we haven’t seen a friend for awhile – we have to get back in synch with each other first. Or when we haven’t worn our comfortable shoes for awhile, they’re not comfortable for a few days.
A lot of accidents can happen in the Spring or after some other type a layoff. We don’t want to have that happen to us or our horse.
If we can remember to bring our horse back as slowly as necessary and to take extra time to get them used to everything again, we may save ourself a lot of trouble.
Nothing good comes from us or our horse getting hurt.
Another thing that is easy to injure is not so obvious. Our confidence or our horse’s confidence can get damaged, and this can be a big setback.
It’s just not worth the risk, so it’s better to take some extra time to avoid after-layoff mishaps.
The best place to do this is in-hand on the ground. They need to get used to things again and the saddle, too. Then proceed to riding only when it feels right and safe for you and your horse.
If you or someone you know is in the position of not being sure how to bring their horse back after a layoff, feel free to use the contact form below to ask about strategies you can use for you and your horse.
Let’s enjoy our horse the way we always wanted to!
Here’s the plain and simple truth: New Year’s Resolutions don’t work.
